chronic pain musings

The first snowfall of the season gently spreads the clean, pure blanket over the dirty polluted world and for one compendious moment the banality of everyday sights appear fresh and beautiful. A new world emerges but the artificial brilliance quickly deteriorates as the roads turn gray; the crisp blanket is wrinkled and soiled; and the filth that lies beneath extinguishes the brief deluded illumination.

The flame used to burn bright and light up this place. Day after day the oil supply was neglected and the flame lost its brilliance. The flame idled trying to maintain but struggled and waned. A mere ember remains. You want to put out that tiny fleck of light but the bitter smoke will burn your eyes. The tiny glow creeps to an abrupt stop and explodes the glow to nonexistence. Only the memory persists in this and give it time and that too will desist into listless bliss.

Don’t be alarmed if you missed it; the dull gray smoke hangs unemphatically in the background barely perceptible but its presence undeniable. Its unacceptable that the oil ran dry as the withering wick cried but some things are inevitable.

You can always relight the flame as long as the lamp wasn’t left in the rain


~ by Brad on December 5, 2007.

3 Responses to “chronic pain musings”

  1. I think that to an extent, that’s true for everybody. I don’t have to deal with chronic pain, and I won’t pretend to understand what that’s like. I identified with the lamp metaphor though. Sometimes a stray gust of wind will add new life to the flame, new fuel to the fire. Other times that same empowering gust could extinguish the flame altogether. It’s a tricky situation.

  2. …sometimes it only takes a barely perceptible breeze to turn that warm little ember cool and black.

  3. Very interesting and insightful post. I can relate, but I also hold hope for the right amount of breeze to come along and fan the flame back in to its full glory. I have to believe and I have to hope.

    Deb at Caged Shadow

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